Former stick-up kid and larceny enthusiast Black Rob critiques classic celluloid heists
Matt Barone
Dead Presidents
The Job: Disillusioned Vietnam vets attempt to rid an armored truck of unmarked Benjamins in broad daylight until Cleon (Bokeem Woodbine) unexpectedly turns Sammy the Bull.
Rob’s Report: “That damn snitch! See, the cocksucker right here [pointing to Woodbine’s character], I don’t appreciate him. When I’m rolling out, I’m rolling with some real heavy dudes. If something goes down, mum’s the word! The character was in Vietnam killing everything that wasn’t dead, but he gets home and starts shaking like Las Vegas craps.”
Ocean’s Eleven
The Job: Danny Ocean (George Clooney) and his crew of crooks leave Las Vegas’ Bellagio Hotel with both owner’s chips and his chick.
Rob’s Report: “This movie is beautiful; it’s all about smart criminals. They don’t just go in to get a bag of chips or a jean suit from Macy’s. This one’s about some real money. Everybody had their role—they even had a bendy, 4-foot-1 Asian dude. He’s better than Spiderman. If I had a team like this, I wouldn’t have become a rapper!”
|
