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    11 Comments     Monday, January 22nd, 2007

    Thank You, King Magazine

    My official “Thank You” entry. It’s much more interesting than it sounds, so go read it. Go’on now! Click the damn link!

    Today, I would like to dedicate this post to www.King-Mag.com. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to present my sh*t-talk to the world via this fine forum. This is just another step on my way to world domination, so I definitely appreciate you helping to enhance my Napoleon Complex. I am no longer 5’8″ tall. Thanks to you all, I am a giant! Look out Shaq! I’m coming for you and your bad knee!

    I only hope that once I’m paid like Larry David of “Seinfeld” and “Curb Your Enthusiam” fame, I’ll act like someone who’se been there before. I don’t want to be one of those people whom you can look at and tell are “New money.” I am not quite sure that I’m ready to be honest…

    Somehow, I have a feeling that the trifiling jackass within me will emerge if I am to get rich overnight. It wouldn’t be your usual hood superstar sh*t, like adding giant rims and other assorted unnecessary and flashy stuff to my fleet of luxury vehicles. It will be that NEXT level sh*t. Like, buying a white man.

    Yeah, I said it. It won’t be white slavery per-se…more like having my own “indentured servant.” I’d pay off his student loans and provide room & board for 4 years. He’d just have to work around the house and let me degrade him whenever I feel like it. I might even go the extra mile and make him change his name, just to get a small measure of revenge for what they did to Kunta-Kinte.

    Leon: What’s yer name, boy?

    Servant: Kip.

    Leon: Your name ain’t Kip. From now on, your name is…Dikembe! Now…WHAT’S YER NAME!

    Servant: Uhh…Dikembe?

    Leon: Good job. Now run along Dikembe.

    See what I’m saying? I don’t know if I’m ready to be a big-time success story. I might get mad one day and slap someone with a wallet full of cash, then laugh as he or she scrambles to pick the cash up off the ground. Hahahahaha! Silly peasant! On your knees, excited over my pocket change! I should d*ck slap you while down there! As a matter of fact, open your mouth so I can choke you to death with my left ball!

    Ok, it’s official…I need to take things slow and prepare myself for the good things that are in store for my career in humor. Thanks again, King Magazine for making me a columnist. I promise not to harass too many of your models.

    Ok. That was a lie.

    I'm already abusing my power

    Also, thanks to all of you readers and commenters out there. You all are the best.

    Leon

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    This entry was posted on Monday, January 22nd, 2007 at 1:30 pm and is filed under Columnists, Fine Sh*terature. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

    11 Responses to “Thank You, King Magazine”

    01.22.07 at 1:44 pm

    Candy says:
    I see you haven’t started counseling yet..lol!

    01.22.07 at 1:45 pm

    Candy says:
    I see you haven’t started counseling yet. lol!

    01.22.07 at 1:47 pm

    Rodell says:
    You are the silliest.Talking about buying a white man and renaming him Dikembe. Reparations… Leon style… lol

    01.22.07 at 2:44 pm

    diva527 says:
    Leon, you are absolutley crazy!! but i have to be there to assist you with your world domination!

    01.22.07 at 3:30 pm

    Lotto says:
    Dikembe LOL!!!! I feel you…you get that money and the people can smell your swagger. It kind of smells like cheese LMAO!!! I am mad you called my man Kip too LOL!!!!! I would also like to Thank King Mag too not only do you have fine taste in women you also have a fine taste in Sh*terature too. Tear it down Leon and then get Dikembe to clean it up for you. LOL!!!

    01.22.07 at 3:31 pm

    Lotto says:
    Dikembe LOL!!!! I feel you…you get that money and the people can smell your swagger. It kind of smells like cheese LMAO!!! I am mad you called my man Kip too LOL!!!!! I would also like to Thank King Mag too not only do you have fine taste in women you also have a fine taste in Sh*terature too. Tear it down Leon and then get Dikembe to clean it up for you. LOL!!!

    01.22.07 at 3:55 pm

    Posh says:
    lol…next level sh*t, huh, buying a white man…i feel you, but instead of paying off his student loans…i say hire a bunch of no skill having, slack black people who will take credit for all kip’s hardwork, pay them a whole bunch of money while kip barely makes enough to pay his rent, and then promote them while kip continues to work his a$$ off for low pay and no recognition and THEN top it off by changing his name to Dikembe!!! oh and you can’t forget, you will have to make kip listen to the occassional ‘veiled’ white joke or some other racial slur and then talk about how you have lots of “white” friends…lol!!!

    01.22.07 at 3:58 pm

    Lotto says:
    Dikembe LOL!!! Cassic

    01.25.07 at 3:17 pm

    Joyce says:
    Lol…This was quirky

    03.26.07 at 1:33 am

    tianna danielle says:
    Dikembe!….LMFAO!!! You are a damn fool!

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