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    3 Comments     Friday, October 10th, 2008

    The Badasses of Blitz: The League II

    Five characters from Midway’s new football game who make Michael Vick look like a gentleman.

    Packed with more illegal activity than a weekend with Pacman Jones, Midway’s Blitz: The League II features all the drug binges, head stomps and late hits that G-rated games like Madden choose to ignore. Taking a cue from real-life NFL scandals, the game forces you to guide your team to the championship while trying to keep your players out of prison or rehab. Depending on your gaming skills, here are five characters that might end up grabbing a ring—or serving time in San Quentin.

    ———————————————————————————–

    Name: Kimo Talofa

    Team: Atlanta 404

    Position: Defensive End

    Bio: Born in Samoa, Kimo graduated from the New Zealand Institute for Sport, and then won Rugby’s World Cup. Now he’s the fiercest pass rusher in the league. His head is so large and hard, he could play without a helmet and it wouldn’t matter. Off the field, he’s a train wreck. He has a bad habit of getting blind drunk and picking fights with rich guys.

    ———————————————————————————–
    Name: Kwazi Mbutabe

    Team: Baltimore Bearcats

    Position: Running Back

    Bio: Kwazi still wears the war paint and screams across the line of scrimmage at the opposing defense, but he’s taken so much of a beating over the years that he’s lost all his juking ability. Now he’s a relentless pounder. The former Cincinnati Crusaders star has provided a spark to the offense, but there is no doubt that he is a one-man show.

    ———————————————————————————–
    Name: Felix Fortain

    Team: Mexico City Aztecs

    Position: Tight End

    Bio: Fortain is an electrifying tight end who dominates in the run and passing games. Off the field, Felix has a weakness for licking flaming tequila off the stomachs of Mexican whores, and he is currently under suspicion from the DEA for smuggling steroids into the U.S. on the Aztecs team plane when they enter the country for their away games.

    ———————————————————————————–
    Name: Packrat James

    Team: New England Regulars

    Position: Linebacker

    Bio: James took over the defense from retired captain Vonnie Treonday and kept up the level of excellence on the field. Off the field he’s been arrested 12 times. Between multiple breaking and entering charges, his addictions to strip clubs, and his off season antics as a professional wrestler, Packrat is as much the team cancer as he is savior.

    ———————————————————————————–
    Name: Shane Spain

    Team: Chicago Marauders

    Position: Quarterback

    Bio: In spite of his advanced age and declining skills, Spain is still at the helm of the Marauders. He’s an icon in Chicago, and icons sell out stadiums, even if they throw too many interceptions. There’s also a rumor that Spain has become addicted to pain killers; after all the sacks and late hits, he needs them just to climb out of bed.

    ———————————————————————————–

    Blitz: The League II hits the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 on Monday, October 13

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    This entry was posted on Friday, October 10th, 2008 at 12:53 pm and is filed under Columnists, Contra Code. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

    3 Responses to “The Badasses of Blitz: The League II

    10.10.08 at 4:27 pm

    wyliam says:
    Exploding Testicals??
    A review of the game is up already–> 89%! http://wonderwallweb.com/article-488-Blitz-the-League-II.html

    10.14.08 at 9:17 am

    Q says:
    This smells like sum awesum stuff…

    01.7.09 at 6:27 pm

    Olga says:
    And it is possible to find full-size photos somewhere? Thanks the author, very qualitative selection of materials!

    Comments




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